Yesterday, I wrote a blog post about how meditation (and quitting drinking) have regulated my nervous system to a degree I have never experienced before in my life. I find myself feeling a deep, golden happiness several times throughout the day as I reflect, "I feel good." Just good. And I keep wondering if this is how other people feel all the time and I'm just reeeeaaalllyyy slow at figuring it out. Whatever the case may be, I'm simply and profoundly grateful that my life has gone on long enough for me to get here.
One of the unexpected side effects of this regulation is the deepening of my intuition. Or perhaps it is just that I can tune in to my intuition more effectively because my body and mind are in a state of calm. It's like a radio station that I just discovered on a road trip after hitting "scan" a million times, only I realize after listening for awhile that it is my own voice speaking on the airwaves. It is causing me to view complex human dramas in a completely different way. The most succinct way I can summarize it is that after spending so many countless hours observing my own thoughts and feelings without attaching to them, I can better do the same with others. But there is another dimension to this ability, which is that I actually feel people's energy more. It's like there's a whole other dimension (or many!) to reality that I did not previously understand even existed, and I'm still learning how to handle it. It feels like a sacred responsibility to see people in this way, because I can use my understanding of people's internal states to help them grow, feel less alone, to love themselves more, to feel held by this world's goodness.
Most of the examples that are coming to mind as to how this has been working are impossible to share without revealing other people's secrets, which I would never do. The ones I can't tell are the most profound stories. But I can share a small illustration. A few months ago at work, one of my coworkers walked by my door and I knew by the sound of her stride who it was (it's a runner thing--I know everyone by their cadence and the rhythm and force of their footfalls), but I didn't even look away from my computer to see her. As she passed my door, I felt a rush of wind hit me in the chest and I felt her heavy emotions. It wasn't literal wind; it was energetic. (I don't really know how else to explain it). But I gave it a minute and then darkened her door to ask if she was ok, and it turned out she had had a really bad day and needed to talk about it. So we did. That's it. Just a simple moment where this knowing of another person's internal state reached my heart and it allowed me to offer true kindness in a way that I would not have even thought of before.
The physical world is such a small part of what we exist in and it may be the least real part. We are energy and we live in an energetic reality. It is not visible to the eye, but it is knowable by the heart.
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