Monday, March 4, 2013
The only feeling that I fear in myself is jealousy. I don't even think it rightly deserves the title of "feeling." It is a collection of dark forces that masquerades as a feeling. I don't trust it because its irony is too sharp for me, its magic too dark. It has the singular power to create precisely the negative consequences we most fear. It is a portal through which our fears can be brought from the ether of our minds into the arena of daily life. Whenever I stumble across it in myself, I steer clear. I acknowledge it and give it a wide berth. I refuse to pick it up. Most feelings I think are interesting and worth a closer examination. But jealousy is something that, if you even consent to bend over and look at it in curiosity, will draw you in, change you. It is best left untouched, avoided.