I don't mean to brag or anything (ok, maybe I do) but I know a thing or two about being stupid. A couple of weeks ago I went for a run down by the waterfront. I was in this gigantic parking lot that links to another parking lot that links to another parking lot in an endless continuum of parking lots that is almost like being in Ohio. So I tried to leave through one of the parking lot exits and there's this giant double-decker red tour bus full of tourists. IN BUFFALO, NEW YORK. And this bus is blocking three quarters of the exit. And this difficulty is compounded by the fact that the road this parking lot empties onto is a divided street with a median in the middle. This median has curbs. Made out of stones. So I try to turn right (you can't turn left), and I can't. I cannot maneuver around the bus. There is not enough space. Not wanting to be the ass hole, I sit there-- for a good three to four (eternal) minutes, waiting for this Buffalo TOUR BUS to move. It doesn't. So I honk. I try to make it a friendly honk. This is the moment when I find out the Buffalo tour bus is full of drunk people. At least they are happy. They ALL wave. This is when I proceed to throw my car in reverse and run into a big yellow pylon (I know because the back of my car became yellow also). I dented several (apparently expensive) pieces of my car in the process. In front of a bunch people who seem to have paid for a bus tour of Buffalo. And they're drunk. Of course. After an 84-point turn I proceeded to turn around and exit the parking lot from one of the numerous other available exits, any of which I could have previously chosen, had I made a visual scan of the available exits prior to choosing the only one that was blocked. But I chose the bad one. And then I wrecked my car. It cost $5,500 to fix.
But that is when I learned this lesson: you will not be punished for your anger. You will be punished by your anger. I paid for this lesson with my stupidity. I will never forget it.
Another time recently, I volunteered to be the schmuck from my law firm who carried a pop up banner to a firm social event and set it up before the event started. It was just a "table top" banner advertising our firm. I was given instructions for how to set it up. But nowhere in the instructions was I given to understand that this banner, which scrolled up into a 12" tube that I could easily carry, would expand to about 6 1/2 feet tall. And it snaps shut. So I had to unscroll it and stick a tent-pole in it to make it stand- super easy! But I attempted this feat by inserting the pole first into the bottom part of the banner and then unscrolling it to try to stick it in the top second. So there I was in a dress and heels with a banner stretched up above my head, when it decides to snap back down on me. Yeah. But right after that happened, two people walked over and helped me out with it. Ice breaker! Those two people, who laughed at me with myself, showed me that you had to stick the pole in the upper portion first and use that to stretch the thing out before inserting it into the bottom. Duh. One of those people knew everyone at the party and stuck by my side and introduced me to everyone, and the other is the president of a local business that could become a client. All of their kindness was the windfall of my stupidity.
So since I can't escape it, I might as well learn from it.
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